white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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