At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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