he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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