I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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