i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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