This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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