just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
