matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize