I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize