I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
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Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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