...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
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There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
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Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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