Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
