My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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