I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
