youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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