My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
These tits shall not be calmed
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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