I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
