And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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