Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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