I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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