Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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