i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
