Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
