I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Michael Bay diarrhea
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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