dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
