Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
