I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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