i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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