spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
