He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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