just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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