You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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