Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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