I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
