I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
