Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
