i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
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That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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