There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My pussy is not your playground.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
