i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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