sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
