Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
