Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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