Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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