That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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