Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
