I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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