she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
