and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
