I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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