I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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