so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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