She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need to calm my uterus...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There are leaves in my underwear?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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