I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
