Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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