I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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