then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
