this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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