I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
