Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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