He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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