did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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