Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
