I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
