I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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