it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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