If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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